The Truth About Being A Bass Fisherman's Wife
- Book Review,
by Aris Whittier
Book Description
Are You Married To A Bass Fisherman? Take hear-you are not alone...and there is help. The cure is humor. The only way to survive living with a bass fisherman is laughter: it's the best medicine. If you have been blessed with the presence of a bass fisherman in your life, know that there are others like you that will understand your burden. As companions of bass fishermen, we are subjected to a multitude of nerve-racking situations. Some are bearable and some are not. The Truth About Being A Bass Fisherman's Wife is an outrageous look at bass fishing through a woman's perspective. Anyone who is married to a bass fisherman or even knows one will roar with laughter at these hilarious tales that expose the believe-it-or-not idiosyncrasies of the odd creature known as the Bass Fisherman.
Excerpted from The Truth About Being A Bass Fisherman's Wife by Aris Whittier. Copyright © 2000. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved
Seduction of a Bass Fisherman While my husband was engrossed in a Bill Dance fishing show I walked in front of the television completely naked. His express never changed. He only tilted his head slightlly so he could see aound me. Perhaps he didn't see me. I moved into a sexy pose, useing my unclothed body to block his view once again. At last I received a response, but my smile of triumph was fast to fade, when I realized that all my spouse had done was make a grunting sound as he shifted in the recliner which provided the means for him to look around me. When I looked him in the eyes, I knew what he was thinking instantly. He was admiring the smooth round curves of the large mouth bass that has just been caught. He smiled in delight at the way the sunlight glistened off her satiny scales. I should be the one taking his breath away, not some slimy fat fish! Now, one would think that a nude woman with a seductive look on her face would get a response from any man. This is true with one small exception: a bass fisherman who is watching a fishing show. During this time the phone and the kids are unheard and a naked woman and a fire are unseen. Thoughts are not constructed and words are not spoken. Pure concentration is directed on the program. Normally ganing my husband's attention is not a difficult task. I merely have to breathe. However, I find that the snappy theme songs of these fishing shows lower the level of testosterone and produce a passive creature that is in a type of a coma. This condition does not end until the theme song is played again, indicating that the show is over. Suprised by what had just transpired, I returned to my bedroom thinking of what I could have done differently. If I had dabbed some smelly jelly on my wrists, perhaps that might have aroused him from his trance-like state. The stronge liquid is known to attract fish from several feet away, so I might have had a chance. I could have dangled two of those expensive spinner baits with gold willow leaf blades from my ears to increase my chances of ganing his attention. After all, I was only naked, nothing eye catching about that. A half dozen other ideas of what I could have done differently raced through my mind. I sat on the edge of my bed and disregarded them all, because I realized that even these desperate attempts would fail. The only thing that might work is canceling the cable. I'll let you know how it goes.
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