Mother of the Bride: The Dream, the Reality, the Search for a Perfect Dress
- Book Review,
by Ilene Beckerman
From Publishers Weekly
With light, humorous prose and attractive drawings, Beckerman deftly recounts her journey down the winding path between watching a film clip of the royal wedding of Elizabeth II in 1947 and becoming the mother of a modern American bride in the 1990s. Her daughter's announcement of her engagement, accompanied by "a ring you wouldn't be afraid to wear on a subway," initiated 12 months of decisions and crises involving flowers, cakes, champagne, hors d'oeuvres, dresses, music and an all-knowing, ever-present, unflappable and impeccably dressed wedding consultant named Deirdre. With an enticing mix of wry sophistication and loving na?vet?, Beckerman succinctly expresses motherhood's enduring push-and-pull: "All the parenting books say, 'Don't rush in with advice,' but who else is going to tell a daughter she needs a slip under that dress?" Her well-selected memories illustrate the joys and headaches of mothering a daughter--the aspirations, worries and wishes that buoyed and buffeted her from the time of her pregnancy through her daughter's adolescence and early adulthood, culminating in a year of wedding preparations. As Beckerman tells it, "childbirth was easier than being the mother of the bride." Beckerman (What We Do for Love; Love, Loss, and What I Wore), who started her writing career at the age of 60, breathes fresh vitality into this familiar rite of passage, in an account that is sweetly sentimental and brutally honest, touching and witty--in short, a true gem. 50,000 first printing; Book-of-the-Month Club selection; 25-city tour. (Apr.) Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Beliefnet
As much as every mother wants her daughters to get married,says Ilene Beckerman, no mother is prepared to be a Mother Of The Bride. Beckerman's daughter wanted a grand, traditional fete, no skimping. Every detail--from the type of stamps used on the invitations to the shade of the flowers--was crucial. The details were too much for even a supermom like Beckerman to handle, so she hired a wedding consultant. Still, Mom--not the consultant--had to accompany the bride as she shopped for a wedding gown. Beckerman was unprepared: "I thought peau de soie was something Julia Child made.... That Alencon lace was a cheese people with bad cholesterol could eat. My daughter tried on a dress made from 50 yards of Thai silk. I couldn't find her." But this is no mere humor book. Amid the drolleries are the poignant reflections of a mother who is not just gaining a son-in-law. She is also, in a way, losing a daughter. (Beliefnet, June 2000)
New York Times
"As much about the bond between mothers and daughter as a quest for the ideal wedding gown."
Publisher's Weekly
"An enticing mix of wry sophistication and loving naivete...a true gem."
Book Description
The relationship between a mother and daughter is often fraught-but never so much as during the preparations for a daughter's wedding. Who better to offer a fresh perspective on weddings than the mother of the bride? And who better to describe it -- the agony and the ecstasy -- than Ilene "Gingy" Beckerman, who's married off three daughters and remembers it all very clearly. --The high cost of wedding cakes: "I could have had a lifetime supply of Entenmann's chocolate doughnuts!" --Bridesmaid dresses: "What do five girls-one short, one tall, one buxom, one flat, one who gave birth a month ago-have in common? A bridesmaid's dress they hate." --Mother-of-the-bride dresses: "I tried on green velvet. A Rodney Dangerfield line came to me: 'If that dress had pockets, you'd look like a pool table.' The dress had pockets." --And, finally, the sight of her daughter walking down the aisle: "My daughter was Cinderella, Snow White, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, and Jacqueline Kennedy. But better." Gingy looks at the bride-to-be and sees the teenager who wanted Bo Derek braids, the little girl she taught to dance to the tune of "Me and My Shadow," the beautiful baby, the miracle she gave birth to decades earlier. And now, en route to the aisle, their relationship is tested in ways Gingy never imagined. Beckerman simply and brilliantly describes the highs and lows of life with an adult daughter. What emerges is a poignant and telling story.
From the Publisher
From the author of LOVE, LOSS AND WHAT I WORE and WHAT WE DO FOR LOVE.
About the Author
Born in New York City, Ilene Beckerman now lives in New Jersey. She has written about the Oscars for the Los Angeles Times, the good old days for Victoria magazine, and was a judge for People magazine's "Best and Worst Dressed" issue. She started her writing career at the age of sixty and has now written three books, including the best-selling Love, Loss, and What I Wore and What We Do for Love.
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