Officespeak : The Win-Win Guide to Touching Base, Getting the Ball Rolling, and Thinking Inside the Box

From Publishers Weekly
Anyone looking in earnest for an encyclopedic collection of corporate lingo to help them get ahead on the job should take note: this book is anything but practical. Indeed, Martin, a book-publishing peon by day and comedian at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre by night, refrains from offering any useful information and instead delivers jokes aplenty, using bulleted points and deadpan humor to decipher some of the jargon that pervades work culture. With its sarcastic tone, the book seems to be targeting a young audience, those who are perhaps new to their cubicles and disillusioned with their nine to five schedules. Martin breaks up this quick read into sections, devoting one chapter to water cooler chat, one to "deciphering" email correspondence, one to boardroom banter, and so on. A particularly amusing chapter on job interviews offers fail-safe responses to standard questions like, "What's your biggest weakness?" Martin's suggested response: "My biggest weakness is my ability to make too much profit for the company." Any reader who enjoys mocking the corporate life will be entertained by this farcical little book. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Book Description
Do you feel like putting a bullet through your head every time your boss tells you to "quarterback this one for me, champ"? Do you find yourself resisting the urge to put a chokehold on colleagues who use the phrases "on the same page" or "no-brainer" or "going forward" in a sentence? Are you often tempted to tamper with the messages on the motivational signs HR posts around the office? Or to plant subliminal messages in the legal disclaimer that's attached to every e-mail you send? Well, then Officespeak is the book for you! This hilarious, tongue-in-cheek guide to deciphering and manipulating the language of the workplace includes such helpful hints as: The best (and worst) answers to the question, "What's your biggest weakness?" Sprucing up your job title and personalizing your business cards Being "swamped" and other key phrases for diverting responsibility Making up verbs to convey power, decisiveness, and initiative in the boardroom Mastering the fine art of interrupting with such foolproof expressions as "good point" and "borrriiinnnggg" AND MANY MORE! Just remember, there's no "I" in team... but there sure as hell is one in "You're hired!"


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