Get Your Tongue out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-Bye!

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One of Heimel's most trenchant and incisive books: she wrangles with feminism, family values, these modern times, shopping, and the battle of the sexes in her inimitable no-holds-barred assault on complacency.


From Library Journal
It's no surprise that the author of If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet ? ( LJ 4/15/91), Sex Tips for Girls ( LJ 6/15/83), and But Enough About You (S. & S., 1986) has come up with another snappy eyebrow-raising title. Her brief essays here reflect the same satirical feminist wit that graces the pages of the Village Voice and Playboy magazine. Among the weighty issues Heimel tackles are boyfriends ("a woman needs a man like a fish needs a net"), dysfunctional family values ("PBS would be bankrupt if its fund-raisers didn't feature hours of John Bradshaw explaining to sobbing audiences how our families fill us with toxic shame and make it impossible for us to have anything other than lives of agony"), and living in L.A. ("Out here I have a car, and I don't know if anyone in Manhattan knows this, but a car is just a moving, giant handbag!"). Brash, hip, and very, very funny, Heimel is essential for all humor collections. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 2/1/93.- Wilda Williams, "Library Journal"Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.


The New York Times
Like Dorothy Parker, Ms. Heimel is an urban romantic with a scathing X-ray vision that penetrates her most deeply cherished fantasies.


From Kirkus Reviews
Heimel's new collection takes up where her last one (If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?, 1991) ended: In 36 short pieces previously published in Playboy, the Village Voice, and the Independent, the humorist parades the goofy, smart, obsessive-yet-perceptive persona that many downtown Manhattan- dwellers have come to identify with. But this time, she shows us a little more of her mature, maternal, responsible side before slipping in the news that she's defected for California to write for a sitcom. Maybe that's why she sounds happier and more relaxed. In five pieces that fall under the heading ``Feminist Rants,'' Heimel demonstrates her mastery of the endlessly thorny subject of men: ``A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net,'' she says, beefing up Gloria Steinem's flip 70's slogan that ``A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.'' Times are tougher now than they were in the 70's, and Heimel envies the easy confidence that she's seen lesbians demonstrate: ``I remember only once in my life feeling as content and confident as these women: It was 1979 and I was out of my mind on a combination of Quaaludes and cocaine. This method no longer strikes me as practical.'' But in short pieces on her brief stint as a welfare mother, and in the angry, zingy ``How to Be Creative,'' she tells us how she got tough enough to let her talent shine through, showing us the seatless toilets in the welfare office and all the twisted little jokes and reflections she had along her difficult way. And in many little pieces on shopping (including the buying of deliciously vengeful Christmas gifts) and on life in L.A., as well as in further thoughts on guys, Heimel demonstrates that a good writer can peer over the edge of middle-aged looniness without quite falling in. Funny and smart: a great way for beset urban women to chase the blues. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.


Book Description
Described by the Chicago Tribune as "perhaps our funniest war correspondent on the war between the sexes," Cynthia Heimel reminds us, with this collection, how much we truly need her. Her advice, administered forcefully and forever accompanied by fits of laughter, guides us, and sometimes just shoves us, through the maelstrom of our times. Where else can a woman find such expert dating advice as: "Never believe a person is interested until you feel his tongue down your throat." Naturally. Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Good-bye! is her soothing antidote to this absurd world for smart, sane, and, of course, fantastically cool women.


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It's no surprise that the author of If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet ? ( LJ 4/15/91), Sex Tips for Girls ( LJ 6/15/83), and But Enough About You (S. & S., 1986) has come up with another snappy eyebrow-raising title. Her brief essays here reflect the same satirical feminist wit that graces the pages of the Village Voice and Playboy magazine. Among the weighty issues Heimel tackles are boyfriends (``a woman needs a man like a fish needs a net''), dysfunctional family values (``PBS would be bankrupt if its fund-raisers didn't feature hours of John Bradshaw explaining to sobbing audiences how our families fill us with toxic shame and make it impossible for us to have anything other than lives of agony''), and living in L.A. (``Out here I have a car, and I don't know if anyone in Manhattan knows this, but a car is just a moving, giant handbag!''). Brash, hip, and very, very funny, Heimel is essential for all humor collections. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 2/1/93.-- Wilda Williams, ``Library Journal''


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