Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey FROM OUR EDITORS
Ellen DeGeneres has taken an uncompromising approach to life that has challenged and intrigued her fans and detractors alike. But what about her relationship with her mother? Does a sense of honesty and independence run in the family? And what kind of support and encouragement has DeGeneres received at home? These questions and more are answered in Betty DeGeneres's Love, Ellen, the story of a famous -- if sometimes controversial -- daughter and the mother who loves her.
FROM THE PUBLISHER
"Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay sons and daughters can change their parents' lives forever. Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but it was not without a struggle. In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story: the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter, the media's scrutiny of their family life, and the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project.
Insightful, universally touching, and uncommonly wise, Love, Ellen is a story of friendship between mother and daughter and a lesson in understanding for all parents and their children."Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.
Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality — but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.
In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicatedpath to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.
With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone.
Author Biography: Betty DeGeneres was a working mom who held a variety of jobs—from employment counselor to speech pathologist—while her children were growing up. In 1997, after her daughter's coming out, Betty was named the national spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project. Now she travels around the country to promote honesty and openness about being gay, having a gay family member, and supporting equal rights for gay people. She lives in Los Angeles.
FROM THE CRITICS
Beth Amos
Nearly 20 years before her historic "outing" on primetime TV, Ellen DeGeneres outed herself to her mother as they walked alone together along a Mississippi shore. Three simple words -- "Mom, I'm gay," -- marked the first step in what would become a long, emotional, and sometimes arduous journey for them both. Now, in a heartfelt and open tale of self-discovery, Ellen's mother Betty tells about her struggle to come to grips with her daughter's sexuality, a struggle that led from total denial 20 years ago to her role today as one of the most outspoken and well-known activists for gay rights.Love, Ellen is a story of confusion and clarity, happiness and pain, laughter and tears. But most of all it's a story of acceptance, support, and unconditional love.
Betty DeGeneres grew up in an era when one didn't rock the boat or make a scene. Being different was not well-tolerated and her own upbringing, as one of three daughters born to Christian Scientist parents, was white, working-class, and Republican: traditional values with traditional roles in a traditional family. And while her young adult years occurred during the turbulent 1960s, when civil rights issues were all de rigueur, her insulated existence left her unaware, unconcerned, and often oblivious. Add it all up and you hardly have the makings of a modern-day activist, yet for the past two years, Betty DeGeneres has been the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's Coming Out Project and a model of hope and inspiration for gays and their families.
Despite her upbringing, Betty's own life had its trials. There were four failed marriages, two of them to the same man. There was an immature attachment to her family that made her reluctant to go out on her own. There was the belief that she needed a man to take care of her, that she was lost if she was on her own, and that a bad relationship just might be preferable to no relationship at all. In fact, one of the most touching aspects of Betty's story is the way both mother and daughter supported one another through thick and thin, loving unconditionally and accepting one another even when they didn't always understand. Their trials brought them closer together -- yet not without conflict. And while they never veered far off the path to love, support, and acceptance, their individual trails were often twisted, winding, and marred with potholes.
The subtitle for Love, Ellen claims it is a mother/daughter journey, but the focus is largely on Betty herself. Some may wonder why anyone should care about the life of Ellen DeGeneres's mother, but Betty answers that question quite aptly. Her message, one of love and acceptance, is an important one, enough so that she feels readers should know something about the messenger. And what makes Betty's deliverance of the message so powerful is the fact that she herself struggled to reach that goal and did so from a point of reference that skewed her beliefs, thoughts, and ideals. Nothing in her life -- her upbringing, the values that shaped her mind and life, the goals she sought, or the dreams she had -- prepared her for that pivotal moment on the beach. In fact, her attitude in the beginning was closed-minded enough that her first response to Ellen's momentous revelation was to suggest it was just a phase she was going through.
Later, as Betty struggled to uphold the lie Ellen was living, the strain took its toll. There were support groups, but Betty was afraid to participate in them lest she give away her very famous daughter's secret. In many ways, Ellen's coming out was also Betty's coming out.
Courageous, touching, funny, and unassuming, Love, Ellen is painfully honest, surprisingly enlightening, and wholly satisfying. For parents or other family members who are dealing with similar issues, Betty's story may well be just the eye-opening reality check needed to make a similar journey. For those who don't have such issues to deal with, it's a delightful tale of the power of love and the human ability to overcome prejudices and achieve meaningful personal growth.
--Beth Amos
Beth Amos is the author of several mainstream suspense thrillers, including Second Sight, Eyes of Night, and Cold White Fury . She lives in Richmond, Virginia, and is at work on her next novel.
People
Touching...Betty DeGeneres has a story worth telling.
Out Front Colorado
Love, Ellen is the story of the extraordinary bond of love between Betty DeGeneres and her daughter, Ellen. It's an intimate look at a celebrated family that lived a very typical American life. And it is the chronicle of a remarkable friendship that grew stronger as mother daughter learned to be more honest with each other, and more honest with themselves.
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