Amazon.com
Each hour, 75 women are raped in the United States, and every few seconds, a woman is beaten. Each day, 400 Americans suffer shooting injuries, and another 1,100 face criminals armed with guns. Author Gavin de Becker says victims of violent behavior usually feel a sense of fear before any threat or violence takes place. They may distrust the fear, or it may impel them to some action that saves their lives. A leading expert on predicting violent behavior, de Becker believes we can all learn to recognize these signals of the "universal code of violence," and use them as tools to help us survive. The book teaches how to identify the warning signals of a potential attacker and recommends strategies for dealing with the problem before it becomes life threatening. The case studies are gripping and suspenseful, and include tactics for dealing with similar situations.
People don't just "snap" and become violent, says de Becker, whose clients include federal government agencies, celebrities, police departments, and shelters for battered women. "There is a process as observable, and often as predictable, as water coming to a boil." Learning to predict violence is the cornerstone to preventing it. De Becker is a master of the psychology of violence, and his advice may save your life. --Joan Price
From Library Journal
Perhaps we have a bad feeling about someone we've just met, or a little gnawing perception that a situation just doesn't "feel right," or perhaps even a fear that a co-worker might do something harmful. What de Becker, renowned expert on violent behavior, explains here is that instead of shrugging off these fears, we need to listen to them, see why we're having them, and act accordingly. Far from being silly intuitions, often these can truly show when something is wrong and violence might be imminent; if listened to, along with information about how violent people behave, these feelings might protect us from harm. Using examples from cases on which he's worked and even from his own childhood of domestic violence de Becker shows how instinct, and knowledge, can warn us of impending violence, whether by stalkers, family members, predators, or people in the workplace. Expertly read by Tom Stechschulte, the book gives sound information (e.g., a detailed listing of behaviors predators use to ensnare victims) in a way that should be helpful to all listeners. Indeed, one of the best parts of this audio version is an epilog, going over some of the letters the author has received since the book's original publication in 1997, which tell, in gripping stories, just how great a gift one's intuition, and knowing how to use it, can be. Very highly recommended for all audio collections. Sally G. Waters, Stetson Law Lib., St. Petersburg, FL Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
David Mamet
The Gift of Fear is a terrific mix of the common sense and the counter intuitive. In addition to profiting from de Becker's experience, I enjoyed and admired the writing. He writes with a welcome bluntness.
Mary Rowe, MIT Sloan School of Management, MIT, Cambridge, MA
This book may well save much grief and pain, and some - perhaps many - lives. It speaks directly to targets and potential targets - in a way that may make them stronger and safer - without blaming them.
Linda A. Fairstein, Sex Crimes Prosecutor and author
An important and provocative book, which offers real solutions to problems of fear and personal violence from the expert who knows the territory and explodes the myths. I know The Gift of Fear will be a terrific resource for me - and, I hope, for millions of readers.
Carrie Fisher
A nonfiction book about distinguishing fear from worry and anxiety that reads like a gripping, wonderfully written novel. A book for anyone who wants to discover their intuition and use it to enhance their safety.
From Booklist
De Becker, a national expert on the prediction and management of violence, thinks most people are great victims because they ignore their fears and survival signals. His frighteningly simple advice will come as no surprise to women: use your intuition. De Becker believes every crime has a warning and a motive and that the code of predictable violence can be broken by trusting the phenomenon that he defines as "knowing without knowing why." If people believe in and are alert to the possibility of danger, they can reduce their risks and save themselves. Written with consummate style, the book recounts the motives, warning signals, and defenses against wife beaters, stalkers, assassins, enraged employees, and violent children. De Becker's experience as a presidential adviser, consultant, expert witness, trainer, and designer of a system that evaluates threats to Supreme Court justices should convince readers to trust the involuntary certainty of fear over the voluntary uncertainty of anxiety when confronted by those to whom senseless acts make perfect sense. Patricia Hassler
From Kirkus Reviews
``The energy of violence,'' de Becker asserts, ``moves through our culture,'' and ``nobody is untouched.'' A high-profile consultant on the ``prediction and management of violence,'' de Becker offers a sometimes startling mixture of autobiography, anecdote, and detailed, even scholarly, examinations of the various qualities that contribute to violent situations, as well as the escalating stages that violent confrontations (between an abusive spouse and his mate, a criminal and his prey, a stalker and his target) follow. His basic argument here--that all of us really do know when we are in the presence of danger, though we frequently deny it, ignoring the telltale signs of a serious threat--is persuasive, and there's much in his specifics about violent behavior and how to read it that's likely to prove useful to readers, but the overlong and somewhat overly detailed text (it's uncertain at times whether this book is intended for individuals, law enforcement agents, or scholars) sometimes obscures those points. -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
Book Description
True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?
The baby-sitter you've just hired makes you uneasy--what should you do?
You sense you are being followed --do you confront the stranger...or run?
A fired employee says "You'll be sorry"--should you take him seriously?
A person in the elevator you are about to enter just doesn't look right--do you wait for the next car?
A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust--and act on--our gut instincts.In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger--before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.
Card catalog description
Gavin de Becker, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior, proves that we are all qualified to answer life's highest-stakes questions. "True fear is a gift," he says, because it is a survival signal that sounds only in the presence of danger; yet unwarranted fear has assumed a power over us that it holds over no other creature on earth. It need not be this way. In this book, de Becker shows that you can already predict violent behavior. Through dozens of compelling stories from his own career, he lays out the pieces of the human violence puzzle and shows how you can solve it by paying attention to the subtle - and sometimes blatant - signals of intuition. As he says, "You can refuse to be a victim." Filled with unique and surprising insights into human behavior, The Gift of Fear will help you separate real from imagined danger, give you confidence in a sometimes threatening world, and make your life measurably safer.
From the Publisher
"A how-to book that reads like a thriller...provocative...empowering."
"De Becker has a lot to say about crime and the fear of crime, and he says it persuasively...his blend of empathy, reassurance and common sense wows readers."
"Important and provocative."
--Linda A. Fairstein, sex crimes prosecutor and author"Chilling and fascinating."
--Jeffrey Toobin, author of The Run of His Life: The People v. O.J. Simpson
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