Cassandra French's Finishing School for Boys : A Novel

From Publishers Weekly
A Hollywood lawyer concocts a powerful new weapon in the war between the sexes in this spicy Tinseltown satire from Garcia (Matchstick Men, etc.). The fun begins when Cassandra French, a movie studio lawyer, anesthetizes three of her would-be paramours, then locks them up in her basement. There she conducts "finishing school" courses to transform them into perfect gentlemen. All goes swimmingly until French is asked out by beefcake movie star Jason Kelly, only to discover he was using her to set up a lawsuit against her studio. French gets revenge by abducting Kelly, but the plot twists come fast and furious after he accidentally electrocutes himself, leaving her to dispose of the body. At the cheeky climax, French's gorgeous, air-headed yoga instructor friend takes the finishing school concept in a startling new direction. French's penchant for great one-liners is matched by Garcia's imaginative plotting and his dead-on satire of life in L.A., Hollywood and the movie industry. The oddball conceit makes this novel an unlikely winner, but Garcia has crafted a quirky, pedal-to-the-metal satiric romp that remains fresh, likable and funny from start to finish. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.


From Booklist
It had to happen sometime. Chick lit has gotten so popular that now men are writing it, and with somewhat predictable results. Cassandra French's story starts off in typical Bridget Jones fashion. She chronicles her bad dates, her overbearing mother, her boring but well-paid job, concerns about her weight, and her shopping sprees. Then the book gets a shot of testosterone. It turns out Cassandra hasn't been taking her bad dates lying down: she has been kidnapping the guys, locking them in her basement, and training them to be better dates. Her "finishing school" is going marvelously well until she starts to fall for both a famous actor and the brother of one of her captives. What starts out as a very entertaining read begins to drag toward the middle of the book but stays amusing throughout. A good choice for those getting a little tired of the genre but still wanting a light read. Marta Segal
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved


Kirkus Reviews
"Bridget Jones with a chainsaw: don’t be surprised if this is one of the more popular beach-reads of the summer."


Kirkus Reviews
"Bridget Jones with a chainsaw"


Book Description

Cassandra French is a twenty-nine-year-old business affairs lawyer for a movie studio in Los Angeles. She has a creepy, platitudinous mother who is under house arrest for telemarketing fraud; and two best friends: studio exec Claire, who's sleeping with her shrink, and Lexi, a blond man-magnet of a yoga instructor. Oh, and she also has three handsome young men chained to cots in her basement. They're enrolled in Cassandra French's Finishing School For Boys.

Cassie has spent years in the dating hell that is Los Angeles, finding man after man who doesn't quite match up to her exacting standards. When Owen, a promising young man she meets at a baseball game, becomes a glassy eyed drunk by the seventh inning, she decides that all he needs is a little push in the right direction; after he passes out in her car, she brings him home, locks him up downstairs, and commences a year and a half of lessons on color coordination, behavior on dates, and ocassionally, sex. Owen proves an able student and is followed by two other likely candidates.

Things start to get a little complicated when Jason Kelly, Hollywood's biggest heartthrob, tries to seduce Cassie into fudging a contract issue on one of his movies. That's no way to treat a lady -- and Cassie has just the cure.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

About the Author

Eric Garcia is currently at work on Hot and Sweaty Rex, the third novel in his acclaimed series about dinosaur detective Vincent Rubio. He is also developing a series for the SciFi Channel based on the Rex novels. He lives outside Los Angeles with his wife and daughter.

FROM THE CRITICS

Janet Maslin - The New York Times

Despite her questionable tactics, Cassandra comes across as chipper and good-hearted, whether she's giving her "boys" mix-and-match fashion quizzes or showing them an edited version of "Pretty Woman." She has fixed that film so that Richard Gere's character becomes a caring and enlightened sort rather than a guy buying a Beverly Hills hooker at $3,000 a pop. And this is a book that's unspeakable fun whether it's read as satire, sadism or some loony hybrid of the two.

Publishers Weekly

A Hollywood lawyer concocts a powerful new weapon in the war between the sexes in this spicy Tinseltown satire from Garcia (Matchstick Men, etc.). The fun begins when Cassandra French, a movie studio lawyer, anesthetizes three of her would-be paramours, then locks them up in her basement. There she conducts "finishing school" courses to transform them into perfect gentlemen. All goes swimmingly until French is asked out by beefcake movie star Jason Kelly, only to discover he was using her to set up a lawsuit against her studio. French gets revenge by abducting Kelly, but the plot twists come fast and furious after he accidentally electrocutes himself, leaving her to dispose of the body. At the cheeky climax, French's gorgeous, air-headed yoga instructor friend takes the finishing school concept in a startling new direction. French's penchant for great one-liners is matched by Garcia's imaginative plotting and his dead-on satire of life in L.A., Hollywood and the movie industry. The oddball conceit makes this novel an unlikely winner, but Garcia has crafted a quirky, pedal-to-the-metal satiric romp that remains fresh, likable and funny from start to finish. Agent, Barbara J. Zitwer. (June) Forecast: Garcia's Rex novels (most recently Hot and Sweaty Rex) are cult hits; his more straightforward Matchstick Men was made into the 2003 movie starring Nicolas Cage. This chick-lit-goes-gonzo follow-up could be his breakout book. Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews